I Have To, I Get To, I Choose To

After reading Jon Gordon’s book “The No Complaining Rule: Positive Ways to Deal with Negativity at Work“. I started experimenting with these 3 ways to tell my internal stories.

I believe that in every situation we face we have at least these 3 options to rationalize the events.

Consider the following examples: work late, cut the grass, lose weight, do it because (fill in the blanks).

Let’s explore the three views.

Have To

Take the prior examples and add “I have to” in front of each and take note of how you feel and think.

I have learned that the more I use this view, the more limited my thinking and emotional intelligence. I end up believing the task has total power over me. And in most cases, it feels like a nuisance.

“I have to” = mandatory; a hassle.

Get To

Now do the same exercise but with “I get to”.

How did it feel?

I have noticed that replacing “have” with “get” gives me a chance to make the tasks more manageable. I may not like them, but knowing that “I get to” be a part of them, helps me realize it could be much worse.

“I get to” = optional; an opportunity.

Choose To

From limited to hopeful to free. The more “get to” I use, the more I realize I have the power to choose how to invest my energy. It is up to me to decide how to react to the situation and take control.

There’s no puppeteer moving me; no computer chip directing every thought and action; there is only me. I can choose to do or not do.

“I choose to” = empowering; the freedom to live life.

You can choose to see the curse or the gift. And this one choice will determine if your life is a success story or one big soap opera.” – Richard Bach





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