In my experience, feedback is one of those things that comes sporadically at the wrong time and in the wrong way. It comes when I can’t do anything about it and/or when the person giving it is in a bad mood.
Not being able to do anything about it is the same as not getting it at all. And receiving it when the giver is in an altered state guarantees a distorted perception of reality.While in both situations the feedback is intentional, it doesn’t help me learn and grow.
The best feedback I get is unsolicited. Pure and unfiltered remarks. They are generally said in jest or in moments of surprise.
I’ll share 3.
“His the most honest person I know.” I have heard this one several times from different people and it taught me the power of integrity and courage. The more consistent I am between words and action, the more the influence I can have on others.
“You are the voice of reason.” I have heard different variations of this one but the intent is the same. Throughout life I have been stubborn enough to play the “devil’s advocate” for what I believe is the right thing to do. It’s always difficult to be the only voicing a differing opinion but this phrase taught me the value of defending the right values.
“He doesn’t work, his always mingling.” Yes, to many it will look like I never work because my desk is always empty and people keep finding me in the hallways, cubes, or break rooms talking to someone. What many don’t realize is that I choose to work after hours so that I can get to connect with team members. Mingling gives me the opportunity to connect with people. As Maxwell says, “leaders must learn to walk slowly through the crowd.”
These 3 random phrases have given me great feedback on what works best for me.
If I may offer a suggestion: get in the habit of listening for this off-the-cuff phrases, you might be enlighten.