Tell Me: What Do You Value Most In Life?

Last week I shared with you what I’m learning about the beliefs window and how it affects everything I experience.

Today, I want to touch on another concept presented by Hyrum W. Smith in his book The 3 Gaps: the values gap._**

The gap between “any old thing” and doing the things that matter most. – Hyrum W. Smith, The 3 Gaps

Brief story.

One of my values is honesty. Some of you may know that I dislike “political correctness” with a passion, and I can be brutally honest at times. I have caused myself pain trying to be politically correct when communicating. Why? Because it has been taken to such extreme that I consider it lying. I have to beautify my wording so much that I no longer think I’m saying what I want to say.

While I can see the cost of being totally straight with language and the advantage of being “politically correct”, I’m still willing to pay the price of being fully honest in my expression because it’s something I consider most important.

Don’t miss my point by thinking I believe myself to be all knowing and absolutely right. My point is that I’m willing to pay the price of pissing some people off in order to stay true to my #1 value.

If you are looking for more examples, the essence of what I write about and how I write it is a product of my values.

Trying to figure out what you value most? Try the following exercise, inspired by the book.


  • Look at the picture above and imaging the bridge is over the Grand Canyon. Would you cross it?
  • Remove the railings. Would you cross it now?
  • Would you cross it if it were windy and rainy?
  • The water is now frozen on the wood pieces and still windy. Would you cross now?
  • Conditions get worse, but now I offer you 50,000 dollars. Would you cross now?
  • Same conditions, but I now have the person you love most hanging over the edge of the canyon and I’m going to drop her if you don’t cross now; no money. Would you?

Hyrum challenges us to think for what would I cross that bridge for without giving it second thought.

The answers to the question above represent our core values. It is our duty to know them, so that we can act accordingly.

It’s important to remember that whether we are aware or not, whenever we act in a way that betrays our core values, we create pain within us; and ultimately, in others. Trust me, I have been there.


So, can you tell me what you value most? What actions are you currently taking that contradict your answer?



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