Several months ago, I was listening to Simon Sinek talk about purpose and leadership when something he said opened my eyes to the importance of appearances and first impressions.
I know the rest of the world knew about this before I did but it is probably not what you think.
For most of my life I have wondered why people care so much about setting the right impression and designing how others perceive them.
Here’s what I realized:
First impressions have nothing to do with how others perceive you but everything to do with discovering your tribe.
The Importance of Synchronizing Actions & Beliefs
Unless I am a sociopath, chances are you’ll be able to determine whether what I say and do is genuine or not.
We know this to be true. We are fully aware this happens frequently and automatically. Yet, the question still stands:
Why do we insist in creating impressions that may not necessarily align with who we are and what we believe in that moment?
Maybe some of my reasons relate to yours:
- Fear of rejection
- Fear of making others angry
- Wanting to be seen as a nice & polite person
- Wanting to belong
Allow me to illustrate with a silly example.
Ever since I became a leadership coach, speaker, and trainer for the John Maxwell Team I have been mentioning related subjects to the people I talk to. Based on the way they respond to my statements, I can quickly distinguish whether the person has alignment with who I am or not.
In the beginning, I was be very disappointed when people brushed it off, ignored it, or didn’t know what I was talking about. Thus, I stopped using that technique for a while because I didn’t want to bother people with my passions.
Today, I am more confident and aware. Rather than using it as a self-judgment tool, I use it to identify with whom should I spend more time. It’s easy. It’s simple. And no one needs to know. Such is the power of aligning actions and beliefs.
Suppose you approach all new interactions with people with an elevator pitch about what you value and how you are going to approach the relationship. How much more productive would that interaction be?
I don’t know about you but this has worked very well for me whenever I use it. By being so clear with my intent, people are quickly able to decide whether they want to invest time with me or not.
My point is pretty simple: