This is something I am in the process of learning.
For this blog, I’ll combine two concepts we already claim to know.
- The purpose of a goal
- The law of attraction
It can be summarized in these paraphrased statements:
- The purpose of a goal is to become the individual who can consistently produce the targeted outcome.
- We attract to us that which we give our energy and focus to.
Explaining the statements above is outside the scope of this post. For now, I would like to assume them as valid.
When I started my personal development journey, I read and heard plenty about the importance of setting goals as a requirement of success.
One of the most relatable goals is a version of “I’d like to lose XX pounds of weight.”
This sounds to be a totally valid goal. Yet, it is not that simple. And the reasons I use to make the claim are based on the 2 concepts I mentioned in the beginning.
1 – The Goal
I stated the purpose of the goal is to become the person who can consistently produce a specific outcome.
- How many ways can a person lose XX lbs? or
- How many different type of people can lose XX lbs?
I could probably argue there is an infinite number of answers to those two questions.
I have set the weight loss goal many times. I have achieved it several times. Nevertheless, I still seem to use the same goal because I keep gaining all the weight back.
The problem is not necessarily achieving the goal. The problem is consistently maintaining the new lifestyle.
2 – Attraction
In the weight loss example, the way the goal is written focuses our energy on what we don’t want. We are focusing on the extra pounds and in ‘losing’ them.
- How do you feel after losing something?
- How do you feel about knowing you have extra pounds on you?
By giving our attention to “losing the extra pounds” we are most likely generating negative energy. Our other than conscious negative feelings about our situation will start attracting to us more reasons for us to maintain this negative energy.
It is similar to a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Recall the use of the phrase when it rains it pours. This specific statement is a representation of what happens when we use the law of attraction.
A better way to rewrite the goal would be to say, “I am going to be ZZZ lbs” and then focus on answering the question “As a ZZZ lbs person, what are the habits I follow daily?”
Stop Focusing On The Wrong Problem
I have found it interesting to see how often we focus on the wrong end of the stick. Whenever something goes wrong, a deadline is missed, or mistakes happen, our entire energy seems to center around what’s broken.
In the process of making what’s broken important, we start setting goals to minimize the gap and ignore what we really wanted in the first place.
- We want a beach body but we focus on losing the extra pounds instead
- We want high performers but we focus on fixing weaknesses and ignoring strengths.
- We want financial stability but we focus on keeping our job rather than how do we make more money.
- We want employees to be punctual but we focus on timekeeping.
When we focus our energy on fixing what we do not want, we give power to the outcome we are looking to avoid and limiting our solutions to just that type of problem instead of exploring the infinite ways of obtaining what we truly want.