…a kick in the teeth may be the best thinking in the world for you. ~ Walt Disney
In this post I am simply relaying advice I received from my mentor Paul.
It is very common for us to play victim when life is hitting us hard. We deem it unfair, wrong, or mean. We wonder why does this happen to me?
What if we looked at these moments with a different perspective? What if we take these moments from a service mentality? How different would it feel?
Thus, here are the three questions in chronological order:
- Why me?
- If not me, then who?
- If me, what is the lesson I am supposed to learn from it?
This is the question I always ask from a complaining view point. I’m simply asking why the hell this problem couldn’t happen to the jerk at work, the mafia boss, a drug dealer, or someone else that deserves it?
But, Paul asked me to think about it in terms of service for my greater good.
- What qualifies me to handle this situation?
- What role did I play in the creation of this moment?
- In what ways have I attracted this to my life?
If not me, then who?
This is the evolution of the first question. Let’s say I determine I am not the person who should be going through this life experience. Then, who should be addressing it because the situation can’t go unresolved?
- If it really shouldn’t be me, then why am I the one that became aware of it in the first place?
- Who’s better qualified and how am I going to delegate it?
- Who do I need to meet in order for them to help me?
I have decided this second question’s purpose is to raise my awareness enough for me to realize there’s no one else to deal with the issue.
This awareness leads us to the final question.
If me, what is the lesson I should learn?
This is were I am humbled by life. It took me decades to accept it but I finally recognized all my problems are meant to serve a purpose in my life. Regardless of whether I created them or ran into them, they are there to serve me.
One of the problems which continues to repeat in my life has to do with me getting frustrated when people don’t understand my point of view or continue to reject my ideas. This is not about me wanting to be right; rather, it is about wanting to express my purpose.
The latter is an awareness I reached a couple of years ago. The lesson I had to learn was to pay attention to the purpose I am giving myself in any given situation and ensure it is the appropriate one for it.
Whenever I experience similar frustration problems, it always comes back to me having the wrong role or purpose in the situation.
Maybe the overall lesson is for me to encourage you to take the time to explore what are the lessons you are meant to be learning when facing adversity.
What do you do when the life’s problems persist?